From reliving
to remembering
When something overwhelming happens, it doesn't always settle into the past as a memory. It can keep returning as a feeling in the body, a reaction that seems too big for the moment, or a way of coping you wish you could stop, as if part of you is still living it. Somatic and inner child therapy helps your body, and the younger parts of you who learned to survive, come to know that it's over, so what happened can become something you remember rather than something you keep reliving. Especially for those who are neurodivergent: AuDHD, autistic, ADHD, and more.
Why does the past still feel like it's happening now?You might find yourself more easily overwhelmed, shutting down in situations that used to feel okay, or reacting in ways that catch you off guard. The emotional floods. The freeze. The sense that your responses don't match what's actually happening around you, as if your body is reliving something rather than responding to now.
For some people, it shows up in what they reach for: food, alcohol, staying busy, or other ways of switching off that bring relief and then more pain. These patterns aren't a sign that something is wrong with you. Often they're parts of you still living as if it's happening, still trying to survive something that once felt unbearable. Read more about this
I'm Paul Shin, a Somatic Trauma & Relational Therapist based in Wexford, Ireland, offering in-person and online therapy to adults across Ireland and Europe. I'm on my own neurodivergent journey, and somatic work is what finally helped me let the past become something I remember, not something I keep reliving, by learning to work with my body rather than against it.
Therapy with me is paced, body-led, and Neurodiversity & LGBTQ+ affirming 🌈. We go at your speed, follow what your body is telling us in the room, and work gently toward the moment your body knows it's over, without pressure, without forcing, and with you in control throughout.
The different ways
we learn to survive
Have you ever felt as though one side of you wants to fight, another wants to run away, and another just wants to disappear?
Janina Fisher describes how overwhelming experiences can leave us with different, sometimes conflicting, survival responses — each one trying, in its own way, to keep us safe, and each one still reacting as if the danger is happening now.
Select a card for a glimpse of each part.
01 The Protector — Fight +
"Never let them hurt you again."
An inner guard, always alert for danger. Anger can feel safer than fear or helplessness.
02 The Distancer — Flight +
"I can't bear this. Make it stop."
An escape route that's always open — staying busy, avoiding, or looking for a way to switch off.
03 The Terrified One — Freeze +
"I'm trapped. I can't do anything."
An emergency brake. Going blank, numb or still when things feel too much.
04 The Ashamed One — Submit +
"It's my fault. I must be the problem."
Survives by making itself smaller — giving in, pleasing others, turning blame inward.
05 The Needy One — Attach +
"Please don't leave me alone."
Longs for comfort and reassurance. Even small signs of distance can feel like losing everything.
06 The One Who Keeps Going +
"Keep going. There's no time to fall apart."
Keeps daily life running, while often pushing painful feelings aside.
What this work
can open up
This work is about giving both your mind and body a chance to complete, settle, and come to know that it's over, so the past can be remembered rather than relived.
- Reactions that felt instant and uncontrollable start to slow down
- You begin to notice when a feeling belongs to the past, not to what's happening now
- Difficult memories can be thought about without your body going back there
- The flood or freeze begins to have an edge, a place where it can stop
- The urge to switch off through food, alcohol or other escapes loosens its grip, because there are other ways to settle
- Saying yes when you mean no starts to feel like a choice, a pause, a moment to decide
- Your own needs and limits become easier to locate and to stay with
- Setting a boundary feels less like a threat your body has to brace against
- Everyday situations feel less charged, less loaded
- You can stay present in your body without bracing or shutting down
- Connection and trust begin to feel steadier, less risky
- You can breathe more fully because your body finally allows it
The aim is not to change who you are or to erase what happened. It is to help your mind and body feel safer, so your history becomes something you remember, and stops interrupting your present.
“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”
— Peter A. Levine, PhD, founder of Somatic Experiencing®
Taking the next step
Finding the right therapist matters, especially when your sense of safety has been affected.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation so you can ask questions and get a sense of whether working together feels right.
No pressure. Just a first conversation.
Paul Shin is registered with the Health & Care Professions Council (UK) and is a pre-accredited member of the Association of Professional Counsellors and Psychotherapists, ensuring professional standards are upheld in both Ireland and the UK.
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